sometimes I just hate myself.

I just wish I were nicer. why am I such a tool? now those people think I'm just a tool... just because of that one night where they didn't even talk to me. damn it. who do they even think they are? the girl even said she has found that she doesn't like to make new friends- she's made "about three" this year.

three? I guess I'm just all over the place in college. I guess I was similar during senior year of high school but yeah.

also: finished finals this morning. which was nice, I guess. it does not feel like I'm finished with school and that it's summer. at ALL. I'm ready to kill all of these drunk people though. just cause I'm so fucking tired and they're being so fucking loud. I understand that they're glad to be finished with school and such. but come ON. at some point you've got to grow up. or not?

I'm so serious. maybe I'll take one of those sedatives and attempt to sleep. see what happens. probably miss saying goodbye to my best friends who are leaving tomorrow. and that I won't be seeing for over 15 months. and then when we come back we will no longer be best friends. that would be so great. very me.

I just want to sleep. maybe I just need a good cry? no one cares, though.

whatever.

sorry. I'm feeling suicidal at the moment. apologies. apologies all around.