ahdijsoahb vwiuhnfdskjhfsahskla;jf[ioeuw0u7r3hjkaskdsap KLJDGFHDBjfbjksdl chjslkanhl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
aka it's finals time. fyi.
12.14.2008
11.26.2008
cause people change, thank God I did.
yeah you can't go back
it's all in the past
guess you've gotta laugh at iiiit
best. song. ever.
or... of the moment. it's pumping me up. woooo!
yes, I am a Miley Cyrus fan. got a prob with that?! :-)
Miley Cyrus - East Northumberland High
yeah- I'm up all night writing a paper. good times. darn you, Ethnic Conflict!!! can't we all just get along? aka England should've just stayed the heck out of Ireland in the first place. there. that's all I'm going to say. how do ya like them apples? hahahahahahahahaHA.
(under the influence of a Rockstar. my first this semester. yep.)
it's all in the past
guess you've gotta laugh at iiiit
best. song. ever.
or... of the moment. it's pumping me up. woooo!
yes, I am a Miley Cyrus fan. got a prob with that?! :-)
Miley Cyrus - East Northumberland High
yeah- I'm up all night writing a paper. good times. darn you, Ethnic Conflict!!! can't we all just get along? aka England should've just stayed the heck out of Ireland in the first place. there. that's all I'm going to say. how do ya like them apples? hahahahahahahahaHA.
(under the influence of a Rockstar. my first this semester. yep.)
I just need a break. A little one. To get me up. To watch the sun.
1. Philosophy of Law. MURDERRRR. hahaha... love that class so much.
2. lunch time on Wednesdays. the classroom is where it's at.
3. David Tennant on TimeOut. he's coming to LONDON next week!!! stalking time..?
Will Young - Changes
(I had to change the link; apparently his official channel/videos aren't viewable in the US... lame!)
11.25.2008
forbidden little kiss and you call it bittersweet
1. sun! (what's the hottest part of the sun?... page 3! - Billy Elliot)
2. London Writers.
3. Billy Elliot!!! SO GOOD!
4. Tower of London with mi madre. ravens!
Rihanna - Sell Me Candy
2. London Writers.
3. Billy Elliot!!! SO GOOD!
4. Tower of London with mi madre. ravens!
Rihanna - Sell Me Candy
11.24.2008
cause the daylight seems to want you just as much as i want you
1. Christmas lights! pretty!!! + cold weather. one month till Christmas...
2. music. : The Fray. Lady GaGa. Snow Patrol. Rihanna.
3. Baker Street tube station.
Snow Patrol: Crack the Shutters
2. music. : The Fray. Lady GaGa. Snow Patrol. Rihanna.
3. Baker Street tube station.
Snow Patrol: Crack the Shutters
11.23.2008
and in this night I do belong in harmony
I love my bestie. so much.
my friends are amazing. I hope I'm making friends here. it's hard for me to tell - it's not usually too instantaneous with me (except for bestie! but even that wasn't completely instantaneous as we had hung out before, just never actually been the only ones). I'm just so socially inept. quiet. observant. obsessive. judgemental. loving. caring. wanting. veg. home-loving. dancing. musical. there. not all of those things are examples of my social ineptness, but the first one is. I'm just chronically shy. although sometimes now not so much. I went out on Friday - shocking, I know - with three lovely people. to Mahiki. where the sexy slinking socialites go to blow off money and steam. and where we go to watch these people and chill and feel cool. and drink out of conch shells and treasure chests. we didn't do the treasure chest, but have decided it's worth it to go back for it.
Jeff. Megan. Lauren. Lisa. Christina. Bryan. MJ. Mich R. Leslie. Alex. Rachel. Kelsey. LeeAnne.
I'm sure I could call some people here my "friends" but I want to know what's happening next semester. who will I really end up seeing again and not just exchanging awkward words with when we run into each other in the DH?
when the night comes. and no one knows. i can feel it. it've got my private radio.
I'm writing here because I have a 3000 word paper due tomorrow which I'm having problems really starting to write. I just need to start. I figured this might help, getting the other things swirling around in my head out in the open. or out into the vast blogosphere. oh, internet. my friend asked why I have a blog if no one knows about it/reads it. I think it's because so people can read it. if I want them to. or if they somehow come across it. or read it on my comp screen and go to check it out. or randos come across it through blogger. just keeping my thoughts in a word document (ie. journal) just seems like they're still inside of me and not truely out in the open. not really gone from the madness of my mind.
London is a beautiful city. my mother is in town. I'm glad. I took her to Southbank today because I didn't feel like doing the typical tourist walk and there's always something going down there. I love being able to navigate the tube without having to really look at a map. and knowing my way around stations. and where to go when I exit stations. I'm finally acclimated. today on Southbank we walked around the Slow Food market - I got some bread and cheese and pears! - and saw a photography exhibition in the Royal Concert Hall which was also hosting some of the Jazz Fastival bands. so many people there. so many hip people. like Austin, but a tad more pretencious. but is it? maybe not. I felt at home. because of the hat I got at Camden Town on Friday.
triple trip to Camden on Friday! so fun- Lisa and Carolyn are the best. I love our triple. even with our lack of space. it's fun. and we've got such different personalities and interests. my flat has helped me branch out. nice.
lover you knew you had to let me go even after all these years.
I love the Baker Street tube station. freaking awesome. the various lines have different scenes from different Sherlock Holmes stories on the walls. and the tiles in the entry have Sherlock's silouette on them. and it's classic mixed with a bit of contemporary. and I just love public transport in all of its glory. the people. I love train stations. so many people. love it.
go green. what is this "green" concept anyway? how can one be green? I'm green! what does that even mean? surely it means different things to different people. I can't just use that word to describe myself and expect people to understand the various aspects and minute differences that constitute my green-ness from that of others. or why. why I am that way is so difficult to explain to people without getting overly emotional or without the other person interrupting with excuses as to why they are not that way or why they don't do certain things. my vegetarian-ness is not an attack on your lifestyle, so why do you feel so guilty? it's not like I won't talk to you ever again. we can still be friends. I like it when people don't push the issue.
actually, a lot of people here have been pretty chill about it. it's nice. people in the program. when Mich N made our flat dinner she made a seperate dish without meat in it. nice. and when Alex made dinner for Mich R and I he left the chicken out until I got my portion- so nice. it was really fun to work with/hang out with those two.
nice.
nice nice nice. so much nicer in Nice! I heart Diana. and Josh. and The Boyfriend. and junior/senior year musical experiences. I miss it so much.
we're back. we're back in san fransisco.
we're back.
and you tell me I am home.
I know I'll miss this semester so much when it's over. just like I miss last year. and last summer- oh man, last summer. it's painful how much I miss it. I really hope I am able to retain some friendships from this semester. in London. so that I will be able to remember it well. (how emo is this blog?!) :-)
and the only one I come undone for is you.
I like someone. which, as I was explaining to bestie, is the most annoying thing to me. I don't enjoy having pointless emotions... actually, I don't believe there are such things as pointless emotions, so scratch that last. it's just, annoying. but I don't know. enjoyable. and angering. and frustrating. and fun. and funny. and cute. and smile-inducing. and self-doubt inducing. and brings up the past; should I go for it? what does that even mean? how can I just allow things to progress as they will. should I see what happens? are these feelings for real? all feelings are real.
heroes and thieves at my door. I can't seem to tell them apart anymore.
and just when I've figured it out... darling, it's you I'm without.
______
Vanessa Carlton: Private Radio
also: Heroes and Thieves, Come Undone, San Francisco, Spring Street
my friends are amazing. I hope I'm making friends here. it's hard for me to tell - it's not usually too instantaneous with me (except for bestie! but even that wasn't completely instantaneous as we had hung out before, just never actually been the only ones). I'm just so socially inept. quiet. observant. obsessive. judgemental. loving. caring. wanting. veg. home-loving. dancing. musical. there. not all of those things are examples of my social ineptness, but the first one is. I'm just chronically shy. although sometimes now not so much. I went out on Friday - shocking, I know - with three lovely people. to Mahiki. where the sexy slinking socialites go to blow off money and steam. and where we go to watch these people and chill and feel cool. and drink out of conch shells and treasure chests. we didn't do the treasure chest, but have decided it's worth it to go back for it.
Jeff. Megan. Lauren. Lisa. Christina. Bryan. MJ. Mich R. Leslie. Alex. Rachel. Kelsey. LeeAnne.
I'm sure I could call some people here my "friends" but I want to know what's happening next semester. who will I really end up seeing again and not just exchanging awkward words with when we run into each other in the DH?
when the night comes. and no one knows. i can feel it. it've got my private radio.
I'm writing here because I have a 3000 word paper due tomorrow which I'm having problems really starting to write. I just need to start. I figured this might help, getting the other things swirling around in my head out in the open. or out into the vast blogosphere. oh, internet. my friend asked why I have a blog if no one knows about it/reads it. I think it's because so people can read it. if I want them to. or if they somehow come across it. or read it on my comp screen and go to check it out. or randos come across it through blogger. just keeping my thoughts in a word document (ie. journal) just seems like they're still inside of me and not truely out in the open. not really gone from the madness of my mind.
London is a beautiful city. my mother is in town. I'm glad. I took her to Southbank today because I didn't feel like doing the typical tourist walk and there's always something going down there. I love being able to navigate the tube without having to really look at a map. and knowing my way around stations. and where to go when I exit stations. I'm finally acclimated. today on Southbank we walked around the Slow Food market - I got some bread and cheese and pears! - and saw a photography exhibition in the Royal Concert Hall which was also hosting some of the Jazz Fastival bands. so many people there. so many hip people. like Austin, but a tad more pretencious. but is it? maybe not. I felt at home. because of the hat I got at Camden Town on Friday.
triple trip to Camden on Friday! so fun- Lisa and Carolyn are the best. I love our triple. even with our lack of space. it's fun. and we've got such different personalities and interests. my flat has helped me branch out. nice.
lover you knew you had to let me go even after all these years.
I love the Baker Street tube station. freaking awesome. the various lines have different scenes from different Sherlock Holmes stories on the walls. and the tiles in the entry have Sherlock's silouette on them. and it's classic mixed with a bit of contemporary. and I just love public transport in all of its glory. the people. I love train stations. so many people. love it.
go green. what is this "green" concept anyway? how can one be green? I'm green! what does that even mean? surely it means different things to different people. I can't just use that word to describe myself and expect people to understand the various aspects and minute differences that constitute my green-ness from that of others. or why. why I am that way is so difficult to explain to people without getting overly emotional or without the other person interrupting with excuses as to why they are not that way or why they don't do certain things. my vegetarian-ness is not an attack on your lifestyle, so why do you feel so guilty? it's not like I won't talk to you ever again. we can still be friends. I like it when people don't push the issue.
actually, a lot of people here have been pretty chill about it. it's nice. people in the program. when Mich N made our flat dinner she made a seperate dish without meat in it. nice. and when Alex made dinner for Mich R and I he left the chicken out until I got my portion- so nice. it was really fun to work with/hang out with those two.
nice.
nice nice nice. so much nicer in Nice! I heart Diana. and Josh. and The Boyfriend. and junior/senior year musical experiences. I miss it so much.
we're back. we're back in san fransisco.
we're back.
and you tell me I am home.
I know I'll miss this semester so much when it's over. just like I miss last year. and last summer- oh man, last summer. it's painful how much I miss it. I really hope I am able to retain some friendships from this semester. in London. so that I will be able to remember it well. (how emo is this blog?!) :-)
and the only one I come undone for is you.
I like someone. which, as I was explaining to bestie, is the most annoying thing to me. I don't enjoy having pointless emotions... actually, I don't believe there are such things as pointless emotions, so scratch that last. it's just, annoying. but I don't know. enjoyable. and angering. and frustrating. and fun. and funny. and cute. and smile-inducing. and self-doubt inducing. and brings up the past; should I go for it? what does that even mean? how can I just allow things to progress as they will. should I see what happens? are these feelings for real? all feelings are real.
heroes and thieves at my door. I can't seem to tell them apart anymore.
and just when I've figured it out... darling, it's you I'm without.
______
Vanessa Carlton: Private Radio
also: Heroes and Thieves, Come Undone, San Francisco, Spring Street
I keep bleeding love
1. organic / GREEN / healthy / markets / slow food. London.
2. Mahiki. and sexy slinking socialites. and posers like us. :-)
3. swany Marriot hotels. and free desserts and tea and booze.
4. mum's in town!
5. I'm such a local.
6. Camden Town market. + triple trip!
7. Disney music.
Bleeding Love - Leona Lewis (X-Factor winner, apparently...)
2. Mahiki. and sexy slinking socialites. and posers like us. :-)
3. swany Marriot hotels. and free desserts and tea and booze.
4. mum's in town!
5. I'm such a local.
6. Camden Town market. + triple trip!
7. Disney music.
Bleeding Love - Leona Lewis (X-Factor winner, apparently...)
11.19.2008
;-)
1. happyyyyyy. yo no se why. but it doesn't matter! :-) I just want to hug everybody right now.
2. hmm... people? London? life? yes. those.
3. philosophy of law.
_____
side note: I'm darting tomorrow... AHHH! (aka registering for classes)
_____
p.s. Kevin Jonas: A Sexy Surprise.
2. hmm... people? London? life? yes. those.
3. philosophy of law.
_____
side note: I'm darting tomorrow... AHHH! (aka registering for classes)
_____
p.s. Kevin Jonas: A Sexy Surprise.
11.18.2008
word.
felt like putting up a picture. here's a good one.
wish I had me some of that right now. great stuff. in Florence, Italy.
11.15.2008
because we all do need our solitude, don't we?
yes, we do. (Fawlty Towers, The Waldorf Salad)
1. all alone in a flat that's usually full of people (aka being the only 1/9 here all day!)
2. fresh laundry smell. and feel. yep.
3. pelicans. especially the ones in St. James' Park. perhaps I shall visit them this week. if time and weather permit!
1. all alone in a flat that's usually full of people (aka being the only 1/9 here all day!)
2. fresh laundry smell. and feel. yep.
3. pelicans. especially the ones in St. James' Park. perhaps I shall visit them this week. if time and weather permit!
11.10.2008
i'm not gonna teach him how to dance with you
time to start doing this again...
1. British Politics class... Prof. is hilareous and a genius. also the people in the class as well.
2. Gossip Girl
3. pictures. (taking them. editing them. etc.)
(I'm Not Going to Teach Your Boyfriend How to Dance With You - Black Kids)
1. British Politics class... Prof. is hilareous and a genius. also the people in the class as well.
2. Gossip Girl
3. pictures. (taking them. editing them. etc.)
(I'm Not Going to Teach Your Boyfriend How to Dance With You - Black Kids)
10.13.2008
so why do you hate boys?
so I go to put my juice in the fridge and am planning on going to sleep when I come across a bunch of my flatmates (+ Jeff) in the living room excitedly talking about boys- how they suck, to be exact. I then ended up spending over an hour out there and the conversation evolved quite amusingly... why I love the London program.
notes:
- boys are stupid
- "relationship" and "love" are terms that have been cheapened in our society
and from there..
- life. the world is there for the taking. stop stressing about the future and think about the endless possibilities ahead of us- as college graduates. as a few of the lucky ones. we can get a job at a pub in a foreign country and tough it out for a while. or go to med school. know why.
- thinking about one's impact
- what's the point
- enjoying classes... or not.
- ND... love it? hate it?
-> homogeneous. not enjoyable. people mask their problems, not out in the open. the "Disneyland" effect. the bubble. white. fake? the school forces it. think contracts that people have to sign when they have major problems. silencing them is not helpful for the person, but it is for the school's image.
- identity. people. who are we? our identities are constantly changing depending on the situation, circumstancial... we are different depending on who we are with and where we are. but isn't identity something we should just have? it sounds more static than it is.
and then...
- the complexities of matter. how things work. it's amazing.
- modern science. the world is round? completely irrelevent in 100 years? that's so 1990s.
- modern medicine. so many drugs. America has a ridiculously high infant mortality rate. child birthing differences around the world. C-sections- why? should be last resort. vanity. teeth cleaning. braces. wisdom teeth removal is more dangerous than anything. no surgery is a small surgery.
notes:
- boys are stupid
- "relationship" and "love" are terms that have been cheapened in our society
and from there..
- life. the world is there for the taking. stop stressing about the future and think about the endless possibilities ahead of us- as college graduates. as a few of the lucky ones. we can get a job at a pub in a foreign country and tough it out for a while. or go to med school. know why.
- thinking about one's impact
- what's the point
- enjoying classes... or not.
- ND... love it? hate it?
-> homogeneous. not enjoyable. people mask their problems, not out in the open. the "Disneyland" effect. the bubble. white. fake? the school forces it. think contracts that people have to sign when they have major problems. silencing them is not helpful for the person, but it is for the school's image.
- identity. people. who are we? our identities are constantly changing depending on the situation, circumstancial... we are different depending on who we are with and where we are. but isn't identity something we should just have? it sounds more static than it is.
and then...
- the complexities of matter. how things work. it's amazing.
- modern science. the world is round? completely irrelevent in 100 years? that's so 1990s.
- modern medicine. so many drugs. America has a ridiculously high infant mortality rate. child birthing differences around the world. C-sections- why? should be last resort. vanity. teeth cleaning. braces. wisdom teeth removal is more dangerous than anything. no surgery is a small surgery.
10.12.2008
how I wish you could see the potential, the potential of you and me
so.
I like how this is turning into an emo blog- no, not really, I don't like that at all, but if I'm going to use it to sort things out and that has to do with emotions then so be it.
last week was horrendous, but it's over with and I'm so happy! freeeedommmm! except I have class this week- but two fewer than usual because we finished Images (only 1/2 semester) and our Images sections ended last week (and will pick up again after Fall Break)- meaning I don't start class til 12:45 tomorrow. Heaven! Sleep! Gah!
______________________________________________
1. amazing weather. in London. in October. WOW.
2. crepes/cupcakes.
3. surfthechannel.com... I watched Animorphs today. ANIMORPHS!!!
______________________________________________
People. Friends. Lovers. Annoyances. Hugs. Heart. Hope. Time. Sun. Finding. Possessing. Reject(ion). so Easily. I will possess your heart.
I don't want to make this all long and emo (as earlier noted), but here go some thoughts... Not quite Mrs. Dalloway stream-of-consciousness style, probably not as fun. School is teaching me things or, at least, encouraging me to learn- more so than I ever feel on campus. It's so nice. To actually enjoy school again. British Politics. London Writers- the literature requirement I've been putting off for so long has become my favorite class! YES! I love Philosophy of Law. Intro to London Theatre will be sorely missed, even if all of the shows were dark. We acted out scenes in class on Friday and I did fine... I was so surprised with myself, I don't act/speak in front of 30 or so people no matter how hard I try, but, I just did it. It just happened. With two other lovely girls.
Everyone here is pleasant- everyone I've encountered at least. It keeps making me wonder what the hell was up with my freshman year living experience and what the odds of that shit happening are... and I wonder why it was me. Not floundering in self-pity anymore, just genuine interest. because, if I believe in God's will, which I generally do, then what the hell was the point of that? Getting me out of my room (pretty much permanently)? it definitely worked. I know a lot of people now. a lot. and I love them. damn it.
on Saturday night, after the game (which was so close!) and after our Dublin visitors had left for the night and Carolyn had headed off to bed I lost it. out of nowhere it hit me. I just couldn't stop crying. I thought of next semester. I don't want it. I don't want it. no. not at all. All of my best friends will be abroad. I don't know what I'm going to do. Bestie will be here and I will be there. WTF. W. T. F. I need a good hug. Hugs. Love em! so much. Haven't gotten one since being here- problematic! and what about next semester? Probably the same prob... oh no! :-\
I'm afraid. Cowardly? Guess I'm a Hufflepuff (possibly a Ravenclaw).
I don't want to need saving next semester. I'm just terrified of the sadness. I refuse to feel that way ever again. The end of freshman year nearly killed me. I refuse.
I like how this is turning into an emo blog- no, not really, I don't like that at all, but if I'm going to use it to sort things out and that has to do with emotions then so be it.
last week was horrendous, but it's over with and I'm so happy! freeeedommmm! except I have class this week- but two fewer than usual because we finished Images (only 1/2 semester) and our Images sections ended last week (and will pick up again after Fall Break)- meaning I don't start class til 12:45 tomorrow. Heaven! Sleep! Gah!
______________________________________________
1. amazing weather. in London. in October. WOW.
2. crepes/cupcakes.
3. surfthechannel.com... I watched Animorphs today. ANIMORPHS!!!
______________________________________________
People. Friends. Lovers. Annoyances. Hugs. Heart. Hope. Time. Sun. Finding. Possessing. Reject(ion). so Easily. I will possess your heart.
I don't want to make this all long and emo (as earlier noted), but here go some thoughts... Not quite Mrs. Dalloway stream-of-consciousness style, probably not as fun. School is teaching me things or, at least, encouraging me to learn- more so than I ever feel on campus. It's so nice. To actually enjoy school again. British Politics. London Writers- the literature requirement I've been putting off for so long has become my favorite class! YES! I love Philosophy of Law. Intro to London Theatre will be sorely missed, even if all of the shows were dark. We acted out scenes in class on Friday and I did fine... I was so surprised with myself, I don't act/speak in front of 30 or so people no matter how hard I try, but, I just did it. It just happened. With two other lovely girls.
Everyone here is pleasant- everyone I've encountered at least. It keeps making me wonder what the hell was up with my freshman year living experience and what the odds of that shit happening are... and I wonder why it was me. Not floundering in self-pity anymore, just genuine interest. because, if I believe in God's will, which I generally do, then what the hell was the point of that? Getting me out of my room (pretty much permanently)? it definitely worked. I know a lot of people now. a lot. and I love them. damn it.
on Saturday night, after the game (which was so close!) and after our Dublin visitors had left for the night and Carolyn had headed off to bed I lost it. out of nowhere it hit me. I just couldn't stop crying. I thought of next semester. I don't want it. I don't want it. no. not at all. All of my best friends will be abroad. I don't know what I'm going to do. Bestie will be here and I will be there. WTF. W. T. F. I need a good hug. Hugs. Love em! so much. Haven't gotten one since being here- problematic! and what about next semester? Probably the same prob... oh no! :-\
I'm afraid. Cowardly? Guess I'm a Hufflepuff (possibly a Ravenclaw).
I don't want to need saving next semester. I'm just terrified of the sadness. I refuse to feel that way ever again. The end of freshman year nearly killed me. I refuse.
9.17.2008
in memory of what we used to call 'in love'
It's been a while. Four months, to be exact. A lot has happened. Hopefully I've grown as a person, but more importantly I've met and loved some amazing people in that time.
And who would've thought Gossip Girl would inspire me so? The song, Fell In Love Without You by Motion City Soundtrack, has spurred this inspiration. It was at the end of the season premiere. I'd never even seen a whole episode before that. I had to come to London to do that.
The new iTunes "Genius" feature is great. Can't wait till I build up my library again! Then it'll really be great. My laptop and iPod and other things got stolen from the office at work this summer. It was a terrible day/week. Of course, time heals all wounds. What I learned from that experience, however, was how incredibly hurtful such actions are. It was just such a violation. I felt so personally violated. My faith in humanity was suddenly shaken- I didn't care about the value of the items- I was most upset about losing my pictures (and music- although that can be reacquired) and work. The fact that someone in the community that I was attempting to serve would take that from me was just so... hurtful. It's something I never really thought about before it happened to me. Now I know.
"Work" was at an "afterschool program for low-income youth"- at the summer program actually. I was an Intern. And it was the most amazing summer of my life. It hurts me to miss the people there so much. I love them. The kids. The co-workers. The volunteers. Everyone.
I'll post more about these things as I can.
Also: I'm in London now. Studying abroad for the semester. It's week three and I've grown accoustomed to city life- and am getting back in shape walking everywhere. And I feel more self-sufficient than I feel at home- and I feel pretty self-sufficient there. It's just that here I don't have to deal with the parents. It's lovely.
And who would've thought Gossip Girl would inspire me so? The song, Fell In Love Without You by Motion City Soundtrack, has spurred this inspiration. It was at the end of the season premiere. I'd never even seen a whole episode before that. I had to come to London to do that.
The new iTunes "Genius" feature is great. Can't wait till I build up my library again! Then it'll really be great. My laptop and iPod and other things got stolen from the office at work this summer. It was a terrible day/week. Of course, time heals all wounds. What I learned from that experience, however, was how incredibly hurtful such actions are. It was just such a violation. I felt so personally violated. My faith in humanity was suddenly shaken- I didn't care about the value of the items- I was most upset about losing my pictures (and music- although that can be reacquired) and work. The fact that someone in the community that I was attempting to serve would take that from me was just so... hurtful. It's something I never really thought about before it happened to me. Now I know.
"Work" was at an "afterschool program for low-income youth"- at the summer program actually. I was an Intern. And it was the most amazing summer of my life. It hurts me to miss the people there so much. I love them. The kids. The co-workers. The volunteers. Everyone.
I'll post more about these things as I can.
Also: I'm in London now. Studying abroad for the semester. It's week three and I've grown accoustomed to city life- and am getting back in shape walking everywhere. And I feel more self-sufficient than I feel at home- and I feel pretty self-sufficient there. It's just that here I don't have to deal with the parents. It's lovely.
5.10.2008
sometimes I just hate myself.
I just wish I were nicer. why am I such a tool? now those people think I'm just a tool... just because of that one night where they didn't even talk to me. damn it. who do they even think they are? the girl even said she has found that she doesn't like to make new friends- she's made "about three" this year.
three? I guess I'm just all over the place in college. I guess I was similar during senior year of high school but yeah.
also: finished finals this morning. which was nice, I guess. it does not feel like I'm finished with school and that it's summer. at ALL. I'm ready to kill all of these drunk people though. just cause I'm so fucking tired and they're being so fucking loud. I understand that they're glad to be finished with school and such. but come ON. at some point you've got to grow up. or not?
I'm so serious. maybe I'll take one of those sedatives and attempt to sleep. see what happens. probably miss saying goodbye to my best friends who are leaving tomorrow. and that I won't be seeing for over 15 months. and then when we come back we will no longer be best friends. that would be so great. very me.
I just want to sleep. maybe I just need a good cry? no one cares, though.
whatever.
sorry. I'm feeling suicidal at the moment. apologies. apologies all around.
I just wish I were nicer. why am I such a tool? now those people think I'm just a tool... just because of that one night where they didn't even talk to me. damn it. who do they even think they are? the girl even said she has found that she doesn't like to make new friends- she's made "about three" this year.
three? I guess I'm just all over the place in college. I guess I was similar during senior year of high school but yeah.
also: finished finals this morning. which was nice, I guess. it does not feel like I'm finished with school and that it's summer. at ALL. I'm ready to kill all of these drunk people though. just cause I'm so fucking tired and they're being so fucking loud. I understand that they're glad to be finished with school and such. but come ON. at some point you've got to grow up. or not?
I'm so serious. maybe I'll take one of those sedatives and attempt to sleep. see what happens. probably miss saying goodbye to my best friends who are leaving tomorrow. and that I won't be seeing for over 15 months. and then when we come back we will no longer be best friends. that would be so great. very me.
I just want to sleep. maybe I just need a good cry? no one cares, though.
whatever.
sorry. I'm feeling suicidal at the moment. apologies. apologies all around.
5.08.2008
come Holy Spirit
thank you, Fr. Ted Hesburgh.
*** we (my section and I) got to say the rosary with him yesterday in his office on the 13th floor of Hesburgh (library)!!!! incredible. :-)
1. one more final to go! biology is over with! I hope...
2. running into my (facebook) wifey after finals this morn and having a lovely breakfast with her. I'm hoping to go to El Paso this summer- she's interning at Ft. Bliss! awesome!
3. YouTube. seriously amazing. any song or video I want to watch... and lots I never would've thought I would want to watch.
(I feel like saying I appreciate having YouTube in my life was kind of a cop-out)
3b. Science. Science is hot. :-D what can I say? I'm a nerd.
*** we (my section and I) got to say the rosary with him yesterday in his office on the 13th floor of Hesburgh (library)!!!! incredible. :-)
1. one more final to go! biology is over with! I hope...
2. running into my (facebook) wifey after finals this morn and having a lovely breakfast with her. I'm hoping to go to El Paso this summer- she's interning at Ft. Bliss! awesome!
3. YouTube. seriously amazing. any song or video I want to watch... and lots I never would've thought I would want to watch.
(I feel like saying I appreciate having YouTube in my life was kind of a cop-out)
3b. Science. Science is hot. :-D what can I say? I'm a nerd.
5.07.2008
awesome. um, aweful I mean. but, sometimes awesome.
hahahaha. I'm feeling this episode of The Office right now. :-) (Women's Appreciation, Season 3)
1. geoscience final. so easy. thank goodness! I loved that class. and Prof. B. and Prof. F.
2. my bestie. Katie! I'm going to miss her. 15 months. yikes!
3. Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 trailers. yay!!! I can't explain the feeling they give me... nostalgic? makes me want to cry, but in a beautiful way.
ok... now to study bio... uh oh.
1. geoscience final. so easy. thank goodness! I loved that class. and Prof. B. and Prof. F.
2. my bestie. Katie! I'm going to miss her. 15 months. yikes!
3. Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 trailers. yay!!! I can't explain the feeling they give me... nostalgic? makes me want to cry, but in a beautiful way.
ok... now to study bio... uh oh.
5.03.2008
dig it
and 3 more...
1. music. mainly, The Undertones concert this evening reminded me that my life would be so rediculously weird without music. I love it. the end.
2. Shia LaBeouf. HOLES- bestie and I watched this fine film after the concert (and after watching The Little Mermaid). D Tent! reminded me how much I love Texas, books (ATX represent!), and the like.
3. birthdays. Today (yesterday) was my good friend Gail's birthday. I love birthdays. Today is Cassie's birthday. ahhh! so fun! I love gift giving- my "love language" according to senior year Theo. :-)
1. music. mainly, The Undertones concert this evening reminded me that my life would be so rediculously weird without music. I love it. the end.
2. Shia LaBeouf. HOLES- bestie and I watched this fine film after the concert (and after watching The Little Mermaid). D Tent! reminded me how much I love Texas, books (ATX represent!), and the like.
3. birthdays. Today (yesterday) was my good friend Gail's birthday. I love birthdays. Today is Cassie's birthday. ahhh! so fun! I love gift giving- my "love language" according to senior year Theo. :-)
5.01.2008
I wish I could be your morning bagel...
once more...
1. flowers. especially tulips.
2. bio lab. and Jordan Hall of Science.
3. Thursday night tv. Betty was classic tonight. YES.
1. flowers. especially tulips.
2. bio lab. and Jordan Hall of Science.
3. Thursday night tv. Betty was classic tonight. YES.
4.30.2008
just keep me where the light is
positivity experiment, day 1.
3 things I am thankful for:
1. caffeine. and it's aiding me in my paper writing. thank you, drug.
2. birds. chirping. makes this moment so much happier!
3. music. amazing music. John Mayer. Jonas Brothers. Lily Allen. Jason Mraz. The Beatles. Juno Sountrack. Jordin Sparks and Chris Brown. Iron and Wine. Craig David, Corinne Baily Ray, Kings of Convenience, and the Once Soundtrack- and, of course, Brett Dennen.
3 things I am thankful for:
1. caffeine. and it's aiding me in my paper writing. thank you, drug.
2. birds. chirping. makes this moment so much happier!
3. music. amazing music. John Mayer. Jonas Brothers. Lily Allen. Jason Mraz. The Beatles. Juno Sountrack. Jordin Sparks and Chris Brown. Iron and Wine. Craig David, Corinne Baily Ray, Kings of Convenience, and the Once Soundtrack- and, of course, Brett Dennen.
honest to blog?
hahaha. no- I am not pregnant. just extremely tired and hilareous. 5:22am- finally got my IR paper finished! HECK YES!!!
4.10.2008
lights & music
so the other day in group, a member of said mentioned that he is doing badly grade-wise right now, that he lacks motivation.
motivation.
I used to have that- I think. Right now, however, I have none. I don't see the point in school work. It's not like a depression thing or anything like that- I've actually been quite happy lately (esp. today... I laughed a ton for no reason). Never ever. I definitely waste a ton of time and don't do a lot of my work (reading, mostly) and my grades reflect that. I could probably get more A's if I studied more and such- but why?
Anyone? ideas? Let me know, please, because I really don't know.
Last year I did all of my work. All of the reading. Just about everything. Now that I'm happier I can't seem to get motivated. Shouldn't it be the opposite? I'm confused...
I have spent my day napping, tv watching, going to meetings for things that I enjoy, eating, watching youtube videos, talking to friends, etc... Good day, all in all. However, I have a test tomorrow morning. One that I have not studied for AT ALL. I'm so screwed! But the notes that are usually put online aren't there (prof. had a baby on friday, got replaced by another prof... no online notes)- and those are what I study from. My whole studying plan got screwed up and I didn't attempt to fix it. I didn't see how and I don't see the point. Well, I'm starting to. I'm thinking of pulling an all-nighter but I kind of just really want to go to sleep.
Decisions, decisions...
motivation.
I used to have that- I think. Right now, however, I have none. I don't see the point in school work. It's not like a depression thing or anything like that- I've actually been quite happy lately (esp. today... I laughed a ton for no reason). Never ever. I definitely waste a ton of time and don't do a lot of my work (reading, mostly) and my grades reflect that. I could probably get more A's if I studied more and such- but why?
Anyone? ideas? Let me know, please, because I really don't know.
Last year I did all of my work. All of the reading. Just about everything. Now that I'm happier I can't seem to get motivated. Shouldn't it be the opposite? I'm confused...
I have spent my day napping, tv watching, going to meetings for things that I enjoy, eating, watching youtube videos, talking to friends, etc... Good day, all in all. However, I have a test tomorrow morning. One that I have not studied for AT ALL. I'm so screwed! But the notes that are usually put online aren't there (prof. had a baby on friday, got replaced by another prof... no online notes)- and those are what I study from. My whole studying plan got screwed up and I didn't attempt to fix it. I didn't see how and I don't see the point. Well, I'm starting to. I'm thinking of pulling an all-nighter but I kind of just really want to go to sleep.
Decisions, decisions...
4.02.2008
that's just the way we roll - the Jonas Brothers
I really don't have time to be posting on here- but there's something I just have to write, maybe just to clear it up for myself- to attempt to put it into words.
I am now 20 years old. That sounds rediculous. A twenty-year-old is expected to be... what, exactly? Mature? Well if that's the case... ok. You probably won't be too pleased with me on that front. A little bit reckless? I thought that was for teenagers. Trying new things? Making mistakes? I'm a cautious one- I'll try new things, but making mistakes is not my cup of tea. At all. I feel guilty for things that I shouldn't and that's just the way I am.
So: Some of my friends and I were at Chili's on Saturday for my birthday dinner. It was fun and I love them all to death. Anyways... there were some children sitting at the booth behind us and some of the girls (aka Coll and BC) were making faces at them and whatnot. We start joking with Coll about how she's a cougar because she loves little boys, etc... but then they start making fun of me for liking the Jonas Brothers.
Now, admittedly, their target audience is probably somewhere in the 8-13-year-old range. Ok then. But the boys are 20, 18, and 15. And, ok, I used to think the 15-year-old was most attractive- then I found out he was 15. So much for that. But the other two are completely legal and it's not like I'm courting any of them. I happen to appreciate their music. Everyone likes that one Miley Cyrus song that's on the radio- she's only 15. How come people don't get made fun of for that? They may, but it's not as big of a deal as the Jonas Brothers. I guess the JoBros need a big hit (even though I have heard them on the actual radio) before it becomes acceptable for me to like them.
Why do I like them, though? And Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana? And watching the Disney channel? I'll tell you why.
I'm a serious person a lot of the time. I can get intense and I apologize for this if it's ever bothered anyone, but that's just the way I roll. I'm always reading about and trying to mobilize against things that are just so heartbreaking.; things that make this world barely tolerable. People are not the best beings- let me tell you. Whether it's the intensely cruel meat industry, genocide, other types of war, complete disregard for the people and environment of the Appalachian mountains by the coal industry, or complete disregard for the environment in general (ahem- Bush administration)- I'm constantly thinking about these things or trying to do something about them or inform people of them. And, believe me, this takes a toll on my overall person.
so why do I appreciate the Jonas Brothers (and Disney and such) as much as I do? Maybe it's because I need something that is inherently good. happy. fun. Watching Hannah Montana does not frustrate me. Listening to the Jonas Brothers and watching their rediculous YouTube videos makes me laugh. Maybe I need to laugh once in a while. NPR understands this (see: Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me) and you should too.
in conclusion: feel free to mock me, just understand where I'm coming from! and try some Jonas Brothers music out. You just may like it. It IS very catchy. (all three of the boys have pledged to remain virgins till marriage- just throwing it out there. :-) )
enjoy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BEtm2TJTP7Y
I am now 20 years old. That sounds rediculous. A twenty-year-old is expected to be... what, exactly? Mature? Well if that's the case... ok. You probably won't be too pleased with me on that front. A little bit reckless? I thought that was for teenagers. Trying new things? Making mistakes? I'm a cautious one- I'll try new things, but making mistakes is not my cup of tea. At all. I feel guilty for things that I shouldn't and that's just the way I am.
So: Some of my friends and I were at Chili's on Saturday for my birthday dinner. It was fun and I love them all to death. Anyways... there were some children sitting at the booth behind us and some of the girls (aka Coll and BC) were making faces at them and whatnot. We start joking with Coll about how she's a cougar because she loves little boys, etc... but then they start making fun of me for liking the Jonas Brothers.
Now, admittedly, their target audience is probably somewhere in the 8-13-year-old range. Ok then. But the boys are 20, 18, and 15. And, ok, I used to think the 15-year-old was most attractive- then I found out he was 15. So much for that. But the other two are completely legal and it's not like I'm courting any of them. I happen to appreciate their music. Everyone likes that one Miley Cyrus song that's on the radio- she's only 15. How come people don't get made fun of for that? They may, but it's not as big of a deal as the Jonas Brothers. I guess the JoBros need a big hit (even though I have heard them on the actual radio) before it becomes acceptable for me to like them.
Why do I like them, though? And Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana? And watching the Disney channel? I'll tell you why.
I'm a serious person a lot of the time. I can get intense and I apologize for this if it's ever bothered anyone, but that's just the way I roll. I'm always reading about and trying to mobilize against things that are just so heartbreaking.; things that make this world barely tolerable. People are not the best beings- let me tell you. Whether it's the intensely cruel meat industry, genocide, other types of war, complete disregard for the people and environment of the Appalachian mountains by the coal industry, or complete disregard for the environment in general (ahem- Bush administration)- I'm constantly thinking about these things or trying to do something about them or inform people of them. And, believe me, this takes a toll on my overall person.
so why do I appreciate the Jonas Brothers (and Disney and such) as much as I do? Maybe it's because I need something that is inherently good. happy. fun. Watching Hannah Montana does not frustrate me. Listening to the Jonas Brothers and watching their rediculous YouTube videos makes me laugh. Maybe I need to laugh once in a while. NPR understands this (see: Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me) and you should too.
in conclusion: feel free to mock me, just understand where I'm coming from! and try some Jonas Brothers music out. You just may like it. It IS very catchy. (all three of the boys have pledged to remain virgins till marriage- just throwing it out there. :-) )
enjoy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BEtm2TJTP7Y
3.27.2008
say what you need to SAY
The following is from John Mayer's blog. read it. it's very, very good.
THURSDAY, MARCH 27, 2008
FROM THE HEART....
I need to write this.
I've been traveling alone in Japan for the better part of three weeks now, and It's been so remarkable an experience for me that I can't book a ticket home yet. I haven't spoken very much out loud these days, but I've been thinking to myself in what feels like surround sound. I can see so many things clearly, and feel so connected to myself and the world around me that I need to share the perspective with you.
I'm already aware that when I sing, say or write anything, 50 percent of the response will be in support of it and the other 50 will want to discount it. This blog, though, is directed to 100 percent of people reading it. If my blog truly does have any cultural effect, then it should be used for more than just pictures of sneakers and funny youtube videos. (If you don't think my blog has any effect, than you can't by definition be reading this right now and therefore don't have to respond to it in any way. Isn't that tidy?)
What I'm about to write isn't about fame or success or celebrity or the media. That's my business.
This is about us all.
This is about a level of self consciousness so high in my generation, that it's actually toxic.
This is about the girl in her bedroom who poses in front of the camera she's awkwardly holding in her outstretched hand. She'll take a hundred photos until coming up with one she's happy with, which inevitably looks nothing like her, and after she's done poring over images of herself, will post one on her myspace page and then write something like " I don't give a f*ck what you think about me."
This is about the person trying out for American Idol, who while going off about how confident they are that they were born ready to sing in front of the world, are trembling so badly they can hardly breathe.
This is about me, the guy who walks through a throng of photographers into a restaurant like he's Paul Newman, but who leaves a "reject" pile of clothes in his closet so high that his cleaning lady can't figure out how one man can step into so many pairs of pants in a week.
This is about a young guy who maintains a celebrity blog that subsists on tearing other people down but who has wrestled with a lifelong battle for acceptance as a gay man.
This is about us all. Every one of us. Who all seem to know deep down that it's incredibly hard to be alive and interact with the world around us but will try and cover it up at any cost. For as badass and unaffected as we try to come off, we're all just one sentence away from being brought to the edge of tears, if only it was worded right. And I don't want to act immune to that anymore. I took the biggest detour from myself over the past year, since I decided that I wasn't going to care about what people thought about me. I got to the point where I had so much padding on that, sure, I couldn't feel the negativity, but that's because I couldn't feel much of anything. And I think I'm done with that.
I'm not the first person to admit we're all self conscious, Kanye was. But what I want to do is to shed a little light on why we're all in the same boat, no matter the shape of the life we lead: because every one of us were told since birth that we were special. We were spoken to by name through a television. We were promised we could be anything that we wanted to be, if only we believed it and then, faster than we saw coming, we were set loose into the world to shake hands with the millions of other people who were told the exact same thing.
And really? Really? It turns out we're just not all that special, when you break it down. Beautifully unspectacular, actually. And that truth is going to catch up with us whether we want to run from it or not. The paparazzo following me to the gym ain't gonna be Herb Ritts and the guy he's following ain't gonna be Bob Dylan. It's just a matter of how old you are once you embrace that fact. And for me, 30 sounds about right.
What now, then? I can only really say for myself: Enjoy who I am, the talents and the liabilities. Stop acting careless. In fact, care more. Be vulnerable but stay away from where it hurts. Read. See more shows. Of any kind. Rock shows, art shows, boat shows. Create more art. Wear hoodies to dinner. Carry a notebook and hand it to people when they passionately recommend something and ask them to write it down for me.
Root for others.
Give more and expect the same in return, but over time.
Act nervous when I'm nervous, puzzled when I don't know what the hell to do, and smile when it all goes my way. And never in any other order than that.
And when it's all over, whether at the end of this fabulous career or of this life, which I hope takes place at the same time, I should look back and say that I had it good and I made the most of it while I was able. And so should you.
I'm going quiet now.
John
POSTED BY JOHN MAYER AT 09:58 AM FROM ...
THURSDAY, MARCH 27, 2008
FROM THE HEART....
I need to write this.
I've been traveling alone in Japan for the better part of three weeks now, and It's been so remarkable an experience for me that I can't book a ticket home yet. I haven't spoken very much out loud these days, but I've been thinking to myself in what feels like surround sound. I can see so many things clearly, and feel so connected to myself and the world around me that I need to share the perspective with you.
I'm already aware that when I sing, say or write anything, 50 percent of the response will be in support of it and the other 50 will want to discount it. This blog, though, is directed to 100 percent of people reading it. If my blog truly does have any cultural effect, then it should be used for more than just pictures of sneakers and funny youtube videos. (If you don't think my blog has any effect, than you can't by definition be reading this right now and therefore don't have to respond to it in any way. Isn't that tidy?)
What I'm about to write isn't about fame or success or celebrity or the media. That's my business.
This is about us all.
This is about a level of self consciousness so high in my generation, that it's actually toxic.
This is about the girl in her bedroom who poses in front of the camera she's awkwardly holding in her outstretched hand. She'll take a hundred photos until coming up with one she's happy with, which inevitably looks nothing like her, and after she's done poring over images of herself, will post one on her myspace page and then write something like " I don't give a f*ck what you think about me."
This is about the person trying out for American Idol, who while going off about how confident they are that they were born ready to sing in front of the world, are trembling so badly they can hardly breathe.
This is about me, the guy who walks through a throng of photographers into a restaurant like he's Paul Newman, but who leaves a "reject" pile of clothes in his closet so high that his cleaning lady can't figure out how one man can step into so many pairs of pants in a week.
This is about a young guy who maintains a celebrity blog that subsists on tearing other people down but who has wrestled with a lifelong battle for acceptance as a gay man.
This is about us all. Every one of us. Who all seem to know deep down that it's incredibly hard to be alive and interact with the world around us but will try and cover it up at any cost. For as badass and unaffected as we try to come off, we're all just one sentence away from being brought to the edge of tears, if only it was worded right. And I don't want to act immune to that anymore. I took the biggest detour from myself over the past year, since I decided that I wasn't going to care about what people thought about me. I got to the point where I had so much padding on that, sure, I couldn't feel the negativity, but that's because I couldn't feel much of anything. And I think I'm done with that.
I'm not the first person to admit we're all self conscious, Kanye was. But what I want to do is to shed a little light on why we're all in the same boat, no matter the shape of the life we lead: because every one of us were told since birth that we were special. We were spoken to by name through a television. We were promised we could be anything that we wanted to be, if only we believed it and then, faster than we saw coming, we were set loose into the world to shake hands with the millions of other people who were told the exact same thing.
And really? Really? It turns out we're just not all that special, when you break it down. Beautifully unspectacular, actually. And that truth is going to catch up with us whether we want to run from it or not. The paparazzo following me to the gym ain't gonna be Herb Ritts and the guy he's following ain't gonna be Bob Dylan. It's just a matter of how old you are once you embrace that fact. And for me, 30 sounds about right.
What now, then? I can only really say for myself: Enjoy who I am, the talents and the liabilities. Stop acting careless. In fact, care more. Be vulnerable but stay away from where it hurts. Read. See more shows. Of any kind. Rock shows, art shows, boat shows. Create more art. Wear hoodies to dinner. Carry a notebook and hand it to people when they passionately recommend something and ask them to write it down for me.
Root for others.
Give more and expect the same in return, but over time.
Act nervous when I'm nervous, puzzled when I don't know what the hell to do, and smile when it all goes my way. And never in any other order than that.
And when it's all over, whether at the end of this fabulous career or of this life, which I hope takes place at the same time, I should look back and say that I had it good and I made the most of it while I was able. And so should you.
I'm going quiet now.
John
POSTED BY JOHN MAYER AT 09:58 AM FROM ...
3.26.2008
God knows they're squinters! - GOB Bluth
I dropped a class today. The last possible day to drop a class this semester (so of course a ton of people were doing the same thing!). I feel bad about it, but my PoliSci advisor (who is AMAZING) told me to just let it go. He's right, but he said that because he knew it was a hard decision for me to make. I'm hoping I'll be able to actually focus on my other classes now and bring those grades up.
The same advisor also tells me that this establishment is not good for someone with my interests (Environmental Science and Political Science). He obviously means that the combination of the two doesn't yeild much debate or many classes here. Why did I choose to come here? I'm not really sure. I wasn't sure when I chose it and I'm still not sure now, but I can't transfer. I mean, a degree from this place would be a ticket to just about any job imaginable. Seriously- the alumni network is INSANE. And I'm going to London in the fall; even if I consider transferring it would be after fall of junior year- is it even really worth it at that point? I'm thinking not.
Anywho. The class dropping thing was probably a very good decision for me. Mental health-wise I just couldn't take it anymore and I'm really going to enjoy actually learning stuff in my other subjects. Yay for water and soil!!! (what we've learned in Environmental Geoscience this week)
Side note: my Environmental Science advisor is also AMAZING. I love these guys! They're so freaking cool/laid-back and just so nice and supportive. That's somewhat of a rare find at this institution when it comes to dealing with class schedules and requirements and such. I'm lucky enough to have two of them. YES!
The same advisor also tells me that this establishment is not good for someone with my interests (Environmental Science and Political Science). He obviously means that the combination of the two doesn't yeild much debate or many classes here. Why did I choose to come here? I'm not really sure. I wasn't sure when I chose it and I'm still not sure now, but I can't transfer. I mean, a degree from this place would be a ticket to just about any job imaginable. Seriously- the alumni network is INSANE. And I'm going to London in the fall; even if I consider transferring it would be after fall of junior year- is it even really worth it at that point? I'm thinking not.
Anywho. The class dropping thing was probably a very good decision for me. Mental health-wise I just couldn't take it anymore and I'm really going to enjoy actually learning stuff in my other subjects. Yay for water and soil!!! (what we've learned in Environmental Geoscience this week)
Side note: my Environmental Science advisor is also AMAZING. I love these guys! They're so freaking cool/laid-back and just so nice and supportive. That's somewhat of a rare find at this institution when it comes to dealing with class schedules and requirements and such. I'm lucky enough to have two of them. YES!
3.24.2008
I wanna dance with somebody!
it's been a while... I always end up neglecting my blog. it's ok, I guess. I should just accept that that's the way I am.
anywho: obviously I ended up voting in the Democratic Primary due to the fact that Mitt Romney dropped out of the Republican race (wooo!!!). Texas is so funny. Hilary won the primaries, Obama won the caucuses, and it was Obama that ended up with the most delegates from there. We'll see what happens. I've sort of lost interest since Spring Break... lots to say about that, too.
--------------------------
I was getting text messages about how the TX and OH primaries were going because I was on a service trip in Appalachia (Kentucky, to be exact). Appalachia was one of the most amazing experiences. Definitely the best experience this school has given me. I didn't really know what to expect going on the trip; I knew that I really wanted to go home to warmth and my kitty cat, but instead I was in the back of a van full of strangers. Fun stuff though: the vans were really nice rental minivans as opposed to the monster ones schools usually stick you with. The morning we were leaving one girl totally forgot to wake up. Oh... signs of many snafus to come. It was cool because she packed and then we got going.
I was in the back of the van with a girl whom was in a group which I hang out with, but I'd never actually talked one-on-one with her, so we didn't really know each other. In fact, we were both quite worried that we wouldn't have anything to sat to one another. But, oh, how it worked out. Hahahaha. Pretty much we now call each other "bestie!" all the time and speak in abbrevs. It's emberassing because I do it in normal conversation now. So Katie and I were bonding in the backseat and started some super-cool dance crazes (aka no one else really did them, but we did them the whole trip). Other fun stuff: A billboard that said "GUNS" and then a model home in the middle of nothing (Office and Arrested Development references)- go figure that we both love those shows! Being able to quote those really helped. We also did a bit of Harry Potter 1... hahahaha wow. Besties!
We stop at this Kentucky Art place and one of the leaders calls the place that we're going to - to let them know that we're close- and of course we were a day early!!! Another snafu on day 1. It was nice actually, because we got a day to relax and to frolic in the fantastic weather. It was SO NICE. We hit up a couple of dollar stores and ended up purchasing a (Barbie) ball which was used for a number of different games (kickball, basketball, and a fantastic game that a couple of the guys made up where you catch it between your legs).
I'm in a weird mood. Sorry if this post is really disjointed/awkwardly written.
The White Van, the van we rode up in (the other half of the group will henceforth be referred to as the Grey Van), really bonded over the course of the week. It helped that we only had one cd. ONE CD. The Grey Van had an i-trip or something and we had 15 songs. Believe it or not, it was the best cd ever (props to our site leader for creating it) and I still listen to it constantly. Higlights:
- Whitney Houston's "I Wanna Dance With Somebody"
- Enrique Iglesias' "One Night Stand"
- Matchbox 20's "How Far We've Come"
- Journey's "Don't Stop Believin"
- Sugarcult's "Memory"
- Bon Jovi's "Livin on a Prayer"
and a special shout-out to James Blunt's "1973" which went undiscovered until Wednesday... aka the guy in charge of the music was hiding it from us! Oh, Estefe... We had nicknames. It was interesting.
of course... Katie and I were sort of outcasted from the others. Not majorly or anything. A few others bonded with us more (Smalls, Kim, Estefe) at the beginning and then as the week went on we all sort of bonded more. Actually, after that fateful Wednesday we had bonded quite a bit. Monday and Tuesday we essentially went to the woods and a river and picked up trash. Lots and lots of trash- which was actually quite fun! Wednesday we went on a driving tour of the area. For TWELVE HOURS. We saw a WalMart, a prison (directly behind the WalMart), a Lowes, lots of coal mining, mountain-top removal, a disgusting sludge pool, a creek that was bright ORANGE (people drink this water... the coal industry makes me angry), and then we went for a drive in a national forest. The forest drive was a road winding up a mountain. Those of us in the backseats got especially nausiated (this is when James Blunt was discovered). Oh yes- earlier in the day Smalls was driving and bottomed-out majorly... pretty sure we lost a part of the White Van because after that it was vibrating in the back! :-) After getting out of the windy park, we're driving through a town and, of course, the White Van gets in a fender-bender. Good times! Hahahaha. After that snafu was sorted out, we were supposed to head back- but of course we ended up in Virginia! So we turn around and end up eating dinner at Gatti's (a pizza place which I thought only existed in Texas!). We finally got home way later than planned. Wait- while we were driving around lost in the mountains, good ol' Estefe left the radio on DELILA for a good 40 minutes. Funniest thing ever.
There was a group of students from Loyola o' Chicago there as well. Most of our group didn't like them for some reason. Katie and I definitely liked them- they were so nice! One of the best experiences with all of us was a crazy game of Taboo. Best. Game. Ever! So much better than Apples to Apples and Catchprase (similar, but not quite as good).
anywho: obviously I ended up voting in the Democratic Primary due to the fact that Mitt Romney dropped out of the Republican race (wooo!!!). Texas is so funny. Hilary won the primaries, Obama won the caucuses, and it was Obama that ended up with the most delegates from there. We'll see what happens. I've sort of lost interest since Spring Break... lots to say about that, too.
--------------------------
I was getting text messages about how the TX and OH primaries were going because I was on a service trip in Appalachia (Kentucky, to be exact). Appalachia was one of the most amazing experiences. Definitely the best experience this school has given me. I didn't really know what to expect going on the trip; I knew that I really wanted to go home to warmth and my kitty cat, but instead I was in the back of a van full of strangers. Fun stuff though: the vans were really nice rental minivans as opposed to the monster ones schools usually stick you with. The morning we were leaving one girl totally forgot to wake up. Oh... signs of many snafus to come. It was cool because she packed and then we got going.
I was in the back of the van with a girl whom was in a group which I hang out with, but I'd never actually talked one-on-one with her, so we didn't really know each other. In fact, we were both quite worried that we wouldn't have anything to sat to one another. But, oh, how it worked out. Hahahaha. Pretty much we now call each other "bestie!" all the time and speak in abbrevs. It's emberassing because I do it in normal conversation now. So Katie and I were bonding in the backseat and started some super-cool dance crazes (aka no one else really did them, but we did them the whole trip). Other fun stuff: A billboard that said "GUNS" and then a model home in the middle of nothing (Office and Arrested Development references)- go figure that we both love those shows! Being able to quote those really helped. We also did a bit of Harry Potter 1... hahahaha wow. Besties!
We stop at this Kentucky Art place and one of the leaders calls the place that we're going to - to let them know that we're close- and of course we were a day early!!! Another snafu on day 1. It was nice actually, because we got a day to relax and to frolic in the fantastic weather. It was SO NICE. We hit up a couple of dollar stores and ended up purchasing a (Barbie) ball which was used for a number of different games (kickball, basketball, and a fantastic game that a couple of the guys made up where you catch it between your legs).
I almost forgot to mention the BARN DANCE we went to the first night. Fantastic fun!!!
I'm in a weird mood. Sorry if this post is really disjointed/awkwardly written.
The White Van, the van we rode up in (the other half of the group will henceforth be referred to as the Grey Van), really bonded over the course of the week. It helped that we only had one cd. ONE CD. The Grey Van had an i-trip or something and we had 15 songs. Believe it or not, it was the best cd ever (props to our site leader for creating it) and I still listen to it constantly. Higlights:
- Whitney Houston's "I Wanna Dance With Somebody"
- Enrique Iglesias' "One Night Stand"
- Matchbox 20's "How Far We've Come"
- Journey's "Don't Stop Believin"
- Sugarcult's "Memory"
- Bon Jovi's "Livin on a Prayer"
and a special shout-out to James Blunt's "1973" which went undiscovered until Wednesday... aka the guy in charge of the music was hiding it from us! Oh, Estefe... We had nicknames. It was interesting.
of course... Katie and I were sort of outcasted from the others. Not majorly or anything. A few others bonded with us more (Smalls, Kim, Estefe) at the beginning and then as the week went on we all sort of bonded more. Actually, after that fateful Wednesday we had bonded quite a bit. Monday and Tuesday we essentially went to the woods and a river and picked up trash. Lots and lots of trash- which was actually quite fun! Wednesday we went on a driving tour of the area. For TWELVE HOURS. We saw a WalMart, a prison (directly behind the WalMart), a Lowes, lots of coal mining, mountain-top removal, a disgusting sludge pool, a creek that was bright ORANGE (people drink this water... the coal industry makes me angry), and then we went for a drive in a national forest. The forest drive was a road winding up a mountain. Those of us in the backseats got especially nausiated (this is when James Blunt was discovered). Oh yes- earlier in the day Smalls was driving and bottomed-out majorly... pretty sure we lost a part of the White Van because after that it was vibrating in the back! :-) After getting out of the windy park, we're driving through a town and, of course, the White Van gets in a fender-bender. Good times! Hahahaha. After that snafu was sorted out, we were supposed to head back- but of course we ended up in Virginia! So we turn around and end up eating dinner at Gatti's (a pizza place which I thought only existed in Texas!). We finally got home way later than planned. Wait- while we were driving around lost in the mountains, good ol' Estefe left the radio on DELILA for a good 40 minutes. Funniest thing ever.
There was a group of students from Loyola o' Chicago there as well. Most of our group didn't like them for some reason. Katie and I definitely liked them- they were so nice! One of the best experiences with all of us was a crazy game of Taboo. Best. Game. Ever! So much better than Apples to Apples and Catchprase (similar, but not quite as good).
I was semi-obsessed with this crazy-looking dog... :-)... and the dog was semi-obsessed with all of the trash we were picking up.
Highlights of the week:
- picking up trash
- beautiful nature!
- White Van bonding
- cleaning then riding in the electric car
- limited hot water (solar powered) = very few showers for the thoughtful ones
- cleaning dishes
- GUNS
- Jared cut-outs at multiple Subways
- the people we worked with and met were the nicest people... the ASPI people were ALWAYS smiling; even when talking about terrible pollution and economic situations- maybe it's because when you're always working with stuff like that you have to have a positive attitude in order to continue with it
- walking on railroad tracks and then hearing a train horn... scary!!!
- caving: supposedly you're supposed to have 3 sources of light PER PERSON... we ended up with 1 flashlight per SIX PEOPLE... it's funny now, but it was terrifying while it was going on
- bats!
- attempting to make a nature trail/bridge in the pouring, freezing rain... good times
- rushing out of Kentucky a day early in attempt to "beat" a blizzard
- spending the night in Cinncinatti at Mike's house... crammed into the basement... really nice family, great food, fantastic bonding experience
- pillow talk!
- shoveling the snow out for the whole neighborhood
yeah... leaving the White Van was painful. We had been through so much - the people and the actual van!- I miss them!!! Katie came over a couple of hours after we got back and didn't leave till 4 in the morn. We're besties now! I can't believe how compatible we ended up being. We joke about how our other friends (esp. Em!) kept us apart from each other.
All of the Appilachia students had class last Tuesday. It was so great seeing everyone! Everytime I see one of them I get so excited. We really need to have a reunion soon.
All of the Appilachia students had class last Tuesday. It was so great seeing everyone! Everytime I see one of them I get so excited. We really need to have a reunion soon.
2.06.2008
Super Tuesday. the day after.
soooo Super Tuesday. it was:
1) so much fun (SUPER fun, if you will)... just yeah. so much fun.
2) distracting (so sorry IR reading... I promise I'll catch up!)
3) nerve-wracking... still no real front-runner in the democratic race. also, Romney and Huckabee won some states.
4) bothersome... I'm sorry, are there people out there who actually like Mitt Romney?!
5) confusing... yesterday's turnout was supposed to help me decide which party's primary I'm going to participate in, but everyone's still in it and I don't know what to do! Go democrat and vote Obama? Go republican and vote McCain?
ahhhh!!!
1) so much fun (SUPER fun, if you will)... just yeah. so much fun.
2) distracting (so sorry IR reading... I promise I'll catch up!)
3) nerve-wracking... still no real front-runner in the democratic race. also, Romney and Huckabee won some states.
4) bothersome... I'm sorry, are there people out there who actually like Mitt Romney?!
5) confusing... yesterday's turnout was supposed to help me decide which party's primary I'm going to participate in, but everyone's still in it and I don't know what to do! Go democrat and vote Obama? Go republican and vote McCain?
ahhhh!!!
1.23.2008
ok, so I know I've already posted a couple of times about Heath Ledger, but this is a good summary of his life/acting career (which for some reason is titled an "obituary" even though it really isn't. anyways... his death is affecting me more than I thought it would- but other people are saying the same thing. at lunch today one of my roommates and I were talking about how it's the saddest we've ever been about a celebrity death. maybe it's because of how we all first saw him in 10 Things I Hate About You (a classic chick flick for girls our age) and got to watch him in all sorts of roles ever since. Brokeback Mountain made him a timeless actor to many- as is obvious in the NPR reports soon after his death. His talents were indescribable. I refuse to believe that he would have intentionally have taken his own life- he loved his daughter; any possible "overdose" will have been accidental.
---------------------
also this article
(some excerpts below)
"We, Heath's family, confirm the very tragic, untimely and accidental passing of our dearly loved son, brother and doting father of Matilda, who was found in a peaceful sleep in his New York apartment by his housekeeper at 3.30pm (New York Time)," he said.
"We would like to thank our friends and everyone around the world for their kind wishes at this time.
"Heath has touched so many people on so many different levels during his short life, but few had the pleasure to truly know him.
"He was a down-to-earth, generous, kind-hearted, life-loving and unselfish individual who was an extreme inspiration to many.
"We would like to thank our friends and everyone around the world for their kind wishes at this time.
"Heath has touched so many people on so many different levels during his short life, but few had the pleasure to truly know him.
"He was a down-to-earth, generous, kind-hearted, life-loving and unselfish individual who was an extreme inspiration to many.
"Please now respect our family's need to grieve and come to terms with our loss privately.''
...
Last year the actor revealed in an interview that he had been taking Ambien sleeping pills, which are reported to have caused adverse reactions in a minority of patients, after having trouble sleeping while portraying the Joker in the newest Batman flick The Dark Knight. He called the character a "psychopathic, mass-murdering, schizophrenic clown with zero empathy".
"I probably slept an average of two hours a night," Ledger told the New York Times. "I couldn't stop thinking. My body was exhausted, and my mind was still going." He said he took two Ambien pills, which only worked for an hour before he woke again, his mind still racing.
1.22.2008
sadness.
Rest In Peace, Heath Ledger.
from People.com.
Heath Ledger Found Dead
TUESDAY JANUARY 22, 2008 04:45 PM EST
TUESDAY JANUARY 22, 2008 07:10 PM EST UPDATED
Heath Ledger on Nov. 13 Photo by: Evan Agostini / AP
Heath Ledger was found dead at his Manhattan residence Tuesday in a possible drug overdose, a New York police spokesman confirms. He was 28.
Ledger was found in the bedroom of his Soho apartment around 3:30 p.m. by his housekeeper and a masseuse who had arrived for an appointment with the actor, according to the Associated Press and New York Times.
Ledger, who was in bed, did not respond when they shook him, and the housekeeper called 911. He was pronounced dead at 3:45 p.m. ET.
Authorities said they did not suspect foul play but that pills were found near the body. "There were some drugs found around the body – prescription-type drugs," a police spokesman tells PEOPLE.
It's still unclear whether the death was accidental. A medical examiner removed Ledger's body from the apartment just before 6:30 p.m. ET, and New York City Medical Examiner spokeswoman Ellen Borakove says the autopsy is scheduled for Wednesday morning.
Ledger was last spotted publicly in London on Saturday on the set of Terry Gilliam's The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus. Photos showed Ledger wearing a clown costume. Other pictures of Ledger out of costume show him with long brown hair and a dark goatee.
and now it's on NPR. right at this very second. listen here.
watching The Dark Night (the new Batman flick w/ Heath as the Joker) is going to be sooo weird. and sad. and creepy (see trailer).
from People.com.
Heath Ledger Found Dead
TUESDAY JANUARY 22, 2008 04:45 PM EST
TUESDAY JANUARY 22, 2008 07:10 PM EST UPDATED
Heath Ledger on Nov. 13 Photo by: Evan Agostini / AP
Heath Ledger was found dead at his Manhattan residence Tuesday in a possible drug overdose, a New York police spokesman confirms. He was 28.
Ledger was found in the bedroom of his Soho apartment around 3:30 p.m. by his housekeeper and a masseuse who had arrived for an appointment with the actor, according to the Associated Press and New York Times.
Ledger, who was in bed, did not respond when they shook him, and the housekeeper called 911. He was pronounced dead at 3:45 p.m. ET.
Authorities said they did not suspect foul play but that pills were found near the body. "There were some drugs found around the body – prescription-type drugs," a police spokesman tells PEOPLE.
It's still unclear whether the death was accidental. A medical examiner removed Ledger's body from the apartment just before 6:30 p.m. ET, and New York City Medical Examiner spokeswoman Ellen Borakove says the autopsy is scheduled for Wednesday morning.
Ledger was last spotted publicly in London on Saturday on the set of Terry Gilliam's The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus. Photos showed Ledger wearing a clown costume. Other pictures of Ledger out of costume show him with long brown hair and a dark goatee.
and now it's on NPR. right at this very second. listen here.
watching The Dark Night (the new Batman flick w/ Heath as the Joker) is going to be sooo weird. and sad. and creepy (see trailer).
this is something we've gotta get used to.
Hurricane (by Athlete). I don't know... iTunes thought I might like it and I did! go figure...
anywho! it was snowing all morning, but the sun just came out! I've come to relish any sunlight up here because it is a rarity in the wintertime- and despite the below 0 temps this past weekend, we did get some sun!
It's hard to figure out what to wear here. The difference between 2 degrees and 22 degrees is, well, 20 degrees- which is quite a bit! Being from the south cold used to mean one thing... now I have to decipher what kind of cold to expect. Today, for instance, is quite pleasant. I think it was 30 degrees this morning! I didn't even need a hat or gloves. I wore the new coat that my dad gave me for Christmas and really liked it (even though I was weary of the red color).
this has been riveting, yes?
anywho! it was snowing all morning, but the sun just came out! I've come to relish any sunlight up here because it is a rarity in the wintertime- and despite the below 0 temps this past weekend, we did get some sun!
It's hard to figure out what to wear here. The difference between 2 degrees and 22 degrees is, well, 20 degrees- which is quite a bit! Being from the south cold used to mean one thing... now I have to decipher what kind of cold to expect. Today, for instance, is quite pleasant. I think it was 30 degrees this morning! I didn't even need a hat or gloves. I wore the new coat that my dad gave me for Christmas and really liked it (even though I was weary of the red color).
this has been riveting, yes?
I don't see what anyone could see in anyone else
but you.
Juno is up for best picture at the Academy Awards (which are or aren't going to happen as they normally do?). I hope they do because seeing Michael Cera and Jason Bateman at the Oscars together would pretty much be amazing.
Arrested movie? maybe? Jason wants one.
but you.
Juno is up for best picture at the Academy Awards (which are or aren't going to happen as they normally do?). I hope they do because seeing Michael Cera and Jason Bateman at the Oscars together would pretty much be amazing.
Arrested movie? maybe? Jason wants one.
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